April 4, 2011

Day 27: HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE DAY. I want to leave, I need a vacation. I can't deal with Midlothian and the people here..well most of them. We got new seats in bio, I like my seat. Right in the front, I pay attention better there. But the kids in that class make me want to hurt myself, very badly. History annoyed me today, no one would shut up and I had a killer migraine. Worse than normal. English sucked, Spewak was in a bad mood and people just pissed me off. Oh and group work doesn't work when you lie about your number..STUPID PEOPLE. Mrs.Spanier made me mad more than anyone today. She has that ability. According to her, I'm negative, my writing is not good, and I "threw a pen at her". I'm sorry, but when did you become the floor under my desk? And I dropped it because I was mad, because you wouldn't let me go to the library to type up my poem but then proceed to give me a zero for not "doing my work". EXCUSE ME MISS, BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME. After class, Kyle was standing with Kaitlyn. I walked up to her and told her what happened and what do you know Kyle had something to say about it..OF COURSE HE DID. He told me to "F*** OFF" and to "GET THE F*** AWAY" I called him a dick and it blew up from there. He walked away and so did Sydney. Then I started to cry and tried to explain that seeing him makes me break, it makes me crumble. I fall and forget who I am, I forget everything good and go into like a depression but at the same time he gives me butterflies and makes me smile. Obviously, this made no sense because people looked at me like I was stupid but the uncontrollable sobbing probably had something to do with that. Kaitlyn hugged me, Jordan asked what was wrong, Jacob hugged me and started to sing..without letting go. He always sings. It made me laugh though, I needed to laugh. Kaitlyn and I went to our buses. I told Rose what happened, then called my dad and told him everything. I miss him, a ton. More than I thought I would. When I got home, I vented to Carly then she went to work and I went to sleep. Then I woke up and showered and did homework. I still have yet to understand why we need direct variation in life, but whatever. Horrible day, it needs to end. Like now. I seriously need to escape to somewhere calm and quite. I need to let go of everything and breath for two seconds on my own. UGH, PEOPLE SUCK..mainly Kyle and Mrs.Spanier, but still THEY SUCK. Twenty-seven down, too many to go.